HELLOOOOOO. I am finally here, and this is the longest blog that's ever lasted me. This post is gonna be quite a long one, I'm gonna insert photos/quotes here and there so you people won't get too bored reading this.
"Lets be nothing. I heard it lasts forever."
Moodswings are really getting on my nerves. I mean, I'm trying to control myself, but not with all the people around me driving me crazy. Youknowwho's asking me to go again. Sometimes I wonder, if what I'm doing now will help me when I'm older. Ohwell. Blood Types stuff sometimes are true.
"Type B do not like complications.
If you do Type B wrong, be prepared to face your consequences.
If you have ever praised Type B, they will one day return you the favour.
There are times when Type B are overly nice. Just accept it ; their moodswings are inexplicable.
Type B hate the feeling of confinement.
Type B feel stressed if they are not free to do what they want.
When Type B smile, they make everyone around them smile too.
If Type B dislike someone, it can be easily seen on their faces.
Type B are highly impatient.
Type B forget worries easily.
If Type B get angry, they will only be angry at that person for that day only.
Type B cannot survive without voicing their thoughts and opinions.
Type B will not go after someone who walks away, but will cry alone afterwards.
Type B place a strong emphasis on appearance.
The most important trait Type B look for in their lover is appearance.
Type B say and do things they end up regretting.
Type B values their freedom.
Sometimes Type B care too much about what others might think.
Type B try to appear strong, but actually, they are very weak.
When worked up, Type B's train of thoughts fall off track and thoughts do not process as quickly.
When Type B have an opinion, they stand strong.
Type B almost always regret after they talk too much.
Type B have exceptional memory."
How true can this get. I'm 95% like that except for the looking for appearance one. I don't care about that.
I guess thats why people hate me that much huh.
I know I very act cute, no need tell me.
Life's been bugging me over and over again. Problems, difficulty, etc. I seriously feel like dying, but won't haters be even happier? I guess, sometimes we need to take a step back and look at things from a different perspective. It takes two hands to clap. I guess you all know now that if there's something I dislike the most (I won't use hate, its too strong a word.), its backstabbers.
Just imagine, someone constantly at your back, wishing you were dead. Sometimes I dislike myself for who I am. But then God made me this way. He put everyone in my life for a purpose, whether its to wake me up from my nightmare or put me on the wrong way so that I'll know what I'm doing, where I'm going. To stop me from falling even deeper than I already am.
I'm just confused about everything. LIFE's a game to test you on how strong you can be. You either be the audience or the actors.
Backstabbers.
I know I tweeted alot about this topic ytd but its really been on my mind last night and I wasn't really able to sleep last night cos
1) I was hypering the entire night with Weixin on Twitter, and some of my SJAB friends in the group. We've finally reached our target.
2) Matters are heavy, constantly on my mind unable to get off. i don't know why either. I know after this post, even more people are gonna hate me. I don't have a choice on what they wanna do. I can't put a knife at their throat and ask them to like me.
But seriously, when you do something, have you ever thought of the other party? There will always be one gloating away when they win the argument and dancing in joy, but the other one will lose out. Sure, I've been at both ends before. I know how it feels like, the good feeling of winning. But the other party would feel dejected, sad, even wanna die. Sure I've attempted suicide before, but I've sorted out my thoughts already. If there wasn't a trigger point then I wouldn't have even attempted.
Yet the horrible feeling when you wake up each morning. I'm sick and tired of people gossiping, hating, bullying, backstabbing. I've experienced it one time too many. I know you all will be thinking, "Who's that girl, posting about these things, attracting attention?" Come on, its MY blog, and Twitter as well. You have your own choice to follow or not. People calling you names, the feeling isn't good. I'm sure those who've added me on facebook have seen this before,
"Like this status if you've been told by someone that you're ugly, fat, useless, stupid, retarded, dumb, slutty, a bitch, not good enough, unattractive, disgusting, a whore, a faggot, idiotic & other crude remarks. Repost this if you're against bullying. You deserve better."
Its been happening, isn't it? Everyone's been horrible some time in point of time in their lives. And it has never struck me that this would affect me this badly. I don't know why. In primary school, no matter how much we've gossiped, we would never stoop so low to call people names that we know would hurt them. I've never experienced such things in primary school till I came to secondary school. I never knew how much it would hurt to be called these names, till I actually experienced it. I cried really badly the other day, cos I simply couldn't take it. There's still mild traces, but I've learnt how to get over them,
Call me despo, call me attracting attention, sure I laugh about it. Deep inside I'm dying and who can i relate to. Everyone has their own problems and when I blog about it, you people start gossiping about it. Sure gossiping happens, but don't you know, most of the things you gossip about me aren't true and there's a reason for everything to happen. Till now there's only 1 or 2 people who have been through everything with me and know whats in my life, how i feel, my past, and my present.
Do you think its very good of you all to laugh at my family condition? As if it isn't bad enough. Stepsisters, stepparents, falling out with each other.
"Those who gossip with you, will gossip about you."
Sure. I brought everything on myself. All this shit and all that. This is just a chance for me to let out everything thats in my heart and for me to feel better. Why do I care about what others think about me? I don't know either. Constantly I'm trying to improve to be a better person and you have something else to talk about.
"It's sad when you really wanna talk to a person...but you just dont know how to."
Okay. Thats all I've gotta say about backstabbers. I'm not referring to anyone in particular, but I'm trying to relieve everything in my heart.
Oh gosh i just realized how much I camwhore. Zzz.
"I-I love you like a Love song baby."
